Why I think women in motherhood should avoid having multiple baby daddies at all cost!

Source: Vanguard news

I get it! You do not want him anymore! and now you want someone else, but you already have a kid by him! "So what?" you say! but let me explain to you why I think women in motherhood should avoid having multiple baby daddies at all cost!

It used to be old wisdom when a boy gets a girl pregnant, the elders or our parents will force the boy to marry the girl and they will later go on to live and enjoy their lives making many more children and sticking together as a family. But all that has changed now in these modern times or dare I say, "in these times of empowered motherhood" or for lack of a better term, "in these times of women's reproductive rights", and so women are the ones now even leaving relationships at the slightest discomfort! (Katie, 2022). Why is that? and is it healthy? will this lead to a better society and well raised kids? What is happening? and why is this trend a dangerous one? I will try to answer all these questions with scientific research in the following lines as best I could!

First of all let me throw this fact out there! Children raised in a single parent household have a worst outcome in life than children raised with both parents, or even just by the dad! (Isabel, 2014). This is a well known fact out there today! That being said, let me put out another fact out there, "Each child a women bears, leaves within the mother's body some embryonic cells that remain in the body of their mother for the rest of her life! (Idelevich, et, al., 2020; Dawe, et, al., 2007), now let that sink in for a bit! Each child you have as a woman, exchanges DNA with the mother! Meaning, the mother gives DNA to the child and the child also gives its DNA to the mother! And this DNA the child gives to the mother stays in the mother's body for life!

Now picture this, each man you have a baby for, has his DNA in his baby (Sapienza,1990), and that baby, transfers his/her father's DNA into your body (as a woman) through his/her embryonic cells, meaning, each man you have a child for, you carry that man's DNA in you for the rest of your life! Now imagine you have multiple baby daddies, you are therefore carrying the DNA of multiple men in your one body, that is a lot of imprinting that would definitely reduce the quality of your life as stated by Kotila & Dush, 2012, that "Mothers who have children with more than one father experience increased stress and mental health problems and lower parenting quality compared to mothers who share children with only one father". This has led to a lot of women regretting parenthood and therefore blaming the children and their dads which usually results in a reduced quality of life and upbringing for the children in single mother's home!

As an advice for ladies in a relationship, I would say, choose very carefully who you make babies with, and ask yourself this, can I stay with him no matter what? Can I be with him both when the going is good and when the going is bad? Literally, for better or worse, in sickness and in health, till death do us part? Even as teenagers when you are just starting to love someone, you should be asking yourself this question, we should be teaching our teenagers how to ask those questions and not come home with unwanted poregnancies! If you can definitely answer a resounding "YES!" to these questions whole-heartedly, then marry him and make babies! And know that you will be in this for eternity. Otherwise you will become the next statistics of women who will live the larger part of their lives at a very low quality, with higher stresses, more depression, transference of aggression to your innocent children, and scarring them for life, dooming them to repeat the same mistakes you made of having children without a father in the house!

Let me throw another hypothesis out there! Perhaps a valid research question! If a mother has exchanged DNA with her first child and first child's father, then she is now an entity that contains that man's DNA, and since mothers and children exchange cells/DNA, she will therefore exchange the first father's DNA with the second child during the process of exchanging cells with that child, and if this second child is from another man, then that child has the DNA of the first father in him/her too, making him/her a child with the DNA of 2 men in him/her! Ain't that a mess! For a man to come to the realisation that his child is not completely his, but has the DNA of another man in him/her, is quite a BIG pill to swallow!

My advice, make it work with your partner, lover or whoever the father of your children or child is, do not get yourself and your body confused by having multiple men impregnating you and imprinting on you.

Now you know the statistics, you know the research, so make better decisions. Ask the men in your life to vet whoever you are dating or intend to marry! Men know men! If you have a father in your life, let him meet with your boyfriend or partner, let your father or brothers, or uncles vet this guy, ask their opinions of the man you have chosen, and please, please, please, take their advice seriously! Otherwise you will just be another digit count added to the statistics!

There are multiple help out there to fix your relationship seek them out rather than start a new one, especially if you already have a kid!

Another advice I would give for ladies in a relationship is, learn about men from men! I am a man and I can boldly say to you, most wife led marriage, and if you are not married, woman led relationship always end up in disaster, especially if he is a truly masculine man! No Masculine man would allow himself to be led by a woman! It is just in our nature as masculine men to lead and protect our woman and children, and how can we protect if the people we are leading don't listen to us! So in your next relationship if you are a woman that has led her relationships in the past, try this! Let him lead this time! Let him lead in everything and you will not regret it!

Anyways, these are just my opinions, although backed up with facts and research! But if you have a different opinion please share it with all of us! Please leave a comment below and we shall all learn from it!

Until next time stay lifted!

References

Katie Bishop (bbc) 2022. Statistically, women call time on their marriages more than men. What’s with the big discrepancy – and will it stay this way?

Isabel V. Sawhill, 2014. Are children raised with absent fathers worse off?. Retreived from brookings.edu/articles/are-children-raised-with-absent-fathers-worse-off/.

Idelevich A, Vilella F. Mother and Embryo Cross-Communication. Genes. 2020; 11(4):376. https://doi.org/10.3390/genes11040376

Dawe, G. S., Tan, X. W., & Xiao, Z. C. (2007). Cell Migration from Baby to Mother. Cell Adhesion & Migration, 1(1), 19–27. https://doi.org/10.4161/cam.4082

Sapienza, C. (1990). Parental Imprinting of Genes. Scientific American, 263(4), 52–61. http://www.jstor.org/stable/24997061

Kotila LE, Kamp Dush CM. Another baby? Father involvement and childbearing in fragile families. J Fam Psychol. 2012 Dec;26(6):976-86. doi: 10.1037/a0030715. PMID: 23244460; PMCID: PMC3568527.